For our second session we are tackling the Big Questions. Those questions that get asked in the car driving somewhere - particularly when our children are young enough to still be sitting in the back seat. The questions we are not quite sure how to answer.
What are some of these big questions? Where do babies come from and all the derivative sexuality questions. What happens after we die? Will you die? Will I die? Is there a God?
Some of these questions are big questions because they are questions humans have been wrestling with forever like is there a God or why do we die or what happens after we die. There is no one right answer (even if some claim that) and there is no way to "prove" it. For UU parents in particular it can be tempting to answer these questions with answers from a range of sources - such as some people believe x and some believe y. Yet our children yearn to know what we think and what other trusted adults in their lives think. It is perfectly ok to answer with "you know I think about that too and truthfully I am not sure what I believe." This actually could open a beautiful moment where we can explore with our child/ren a big question together. Also if you have to come to some answers, share them! While William Ellery Channing may have warned against stamping our minds on the young but I think part of stirring our children's minds and hearts is to share what we have learned.
For the sexuality questions, fortunately there are a number of wonderful resources out there and I will list a number of them on the resources page. Here it really is about you doing some research, getting the facts and answering sexuality questions honestly and in age appropriate ways. I think just like our spirituality thinking about our own relationship to our own sexuality can help us in answering children's questions.
Finally the most important thing is that our children know they can come to us with their questions; that they know when they come to us we will be authentic with them and honest with them. It is important for our children to see us vulnerable, to learn that we don't know everything or that we struggle with these questions.
One of the other key parts of being an askable parent is to take advantage of teachable moments. Teachable moments are those times when something happens that opens the door to a deeper conversation. Some of my favorite teachable moments comes from sharing and talking about a book or series of books. The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins is ripe with teachable moments. Movies and television are also great sources for teachable moments. Current events are another great source. Using these sources that are just a bit removed from our own situation can help open a door to a deeper conversation.
So what are some of the big questions that you and your children have wrestled with? What teachable moments have been the most powerful for you?
What are some of these big questions? Where do babies come from and all the derivative sexuality questions. What happens after we die? Will you die? Will I die? Is there a God?
Some of these questions are big questions because they are questions humans have been wrestling with forever like is there a God or why do we die or what happens after we die. There is no one right answer (even if some claim that) and there is no way to "prove" it. For UU parents in particular it can be tempting to answer these questions with answers from a range of sources - such as some people believe x and some believe y. Yet our children yearn to know what we think and what other trusted adults in their lives think. It is perfectly ok to answer with "you know I think about that too and truthfully I am not sure what I believe." This actually could open a beautiful moment where we can explore with our child/ren a big question together. Also if you have to come to some answers, share them! While William Ellery Channing may have warned against stamping our minds on the young but I think part of stirring our children's minds and hearts is to share what we have learned.
For the sexuality questions, fortunately there are a number of wonderful resources out there and I will list a number of them on the resources page. Here it really is about you doing some research, getting the facts and answering sexuality questions honestly and in age appropriate ways. I think just like our spirituality thinking about our own relationship to our own sexuality can help us in answering children's questions.
Finally the most important thing is that our children know they can come to us with their questions; that they know when they come to us we will be authentic with them and honest with them. It is important for our children to see us vulnerable, to learn that we don't know everything or that we struggle with these questions.
One of the other key parts of being an askable parent is to take advantage of teachable moments. Teachable moments are those times when something happens that opens the door to a deeper conversation. Some of my favorite teachable moments comes from sharing and talking about a book or series of books. The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins is ripe with teachable moments. Movies and television are also great sources for teachable moments. Current events are another great source. Using these sources that are just a bit removed from our own situation can help open a door to a deeper conversation.
So what are some of the big questions that you and your children have wrestled with? What teachable moments have been the most powerful for you?